I never took into account the amount of effort that it takes to be the bigger person. You really have to step outside of yourself! These past few months, someone that didn’t exactly do right by me has leaned on me to help them process life’s events similar to ones I’m on the other side of.
While I am emotional, sensitive, empathetic and nurturing, I am human and hold pain, regret and grudges. The nurturer in me wants to do everything in my power to make things right and help, but I struggle at times and find myself judging those that wronged me, wanting them to feel pain or hurt. If the person ‘in need’ hasn’t always been truthful with me and has a tainted reputation, my first reaction is ‘screw them!’ I find myself reverting back to what I know about their past behavior and producing my past reactions which amount to “Ain’t NOBODY got time for this!”
Matter of fact, I have helped them before but I am now struggling with the reciprocity. Why is it that I’m always giving and they are just taking? As I am writing this, in the exact moment after that last sentence the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me, ” That when you do for others, don’t expect anything from them. Know that your blessings will come from me.” That’s HUGE and I am doing my best not to cry. While I know that my grief journey and transitioning to my new normal is to help others make it through, sometimes I want to be selfish. I want to protect my feelings and heart from being used or disappointed. However, I know that by sharing how I made it over, it symbolizes the hope that others will find to help with their navigation of this new process.
Be supportive to a person that places you on the shelf like a priceless novel and only takes you down when they need a word. Be selfless! Be great! Be a blessing! Be humble!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4 NIV